Chef at Home

you see an ad on Craigslist. 

it says, Line Cooks Needed for Busy Uptown Restaurant. or Pastry Chef Wanted for Three Star Resort. or ___________ [your favorite restaurant here] Needs _________ [exactly what you're qualified as.]
you promptly send in a resume.
then you…

what?

what do you do next?
when do you change your outgoing message on your cell phone to sound professional?
when do you get your clothes pressed?
when do you start doing research on the chef/pastry chef/restaurant/company you're about to interview with?
when do you start asking around about that chef/pastry chef/restaurant/company to see what your peers say?
when do you change your email address from sexkitten69@isuckhard.com to namemyparntscallme@notaol.com?
when do you research what restaurants are paying for that position in that city?
when do you work on your negotiating skills?
when do you take out a calculator and do the math? on a piece of paper?

when do you do YOUR fucking homework?

because, you know what?

if YOU don't do YOUR homework, why should I hire you? why are you wasting my time?
I have to do MY homework.
I can't sit on my ass waiting for my education to come to me.
if you don't do your homework, you look and sound like an asshole.
you are a shoemaker even before you cut your fingertips off or walk into someone carrying a pot of hot stock or get asked to leave the kitchen/restaurant/your station in the middle of service.
if you don't do your homework, what the fuck are you doing between the time of sending your resume and sitting down in front of the chef for the interview?
what are you thinking?
how are you preparing?

do me a favor? do all chefs everywhere a favor?

learn how to interview.
learn this before you learn how to tie an apron and hold a ladle.
learn how to negotiate your rate of pay. 
learn how to type into Google, "Paul Canales," or "Rachel Leising" or "Dan Lepard"+London.
this is how you learn about the people you're about to meet. know a little something about what they cook/stand for. think HARD about if that's the kind of kitchen you want to work in.*
especially if their name is in the Craigslist ad, you really have no excuse.

if you want to do extra curricular homework, check out ChefDB.com this is an incredible resource, especially if you want to see who worked where when and with whom. in fact, while I'm speaking on it, feel free to put your name within ChefDB {DB stands for Database} because then I can find you. what's great about ChefDB.com is that when sending a resume electronically, you can merely say, "for the rest of my resume see it online at ChefDB.com" and link to it. it's so easy. do it now. stop fucking around on Twitter and do something for your career.

you do NOT need to go to culinary school to get a job cooking/baking professionally. you can follow these instructions and get just as far, and possibly farther. and you won't be burdened trying to pay off a private loan with a minimum wage job. 

it's important to look at your resume before you hit send. are there spelling errors? are you applying for a cook position and it says on your resume that you are already a chef?

if you have absolutely no relevant cooking experience on your resume, say why you're applying for a baker/cook position. if you send a resume from another career, I, like other chefs, erase it because we don't know why, if you're a lawyer or an advertising exec or a professor of biology, you're applying for a prep or chef de cuisine or a butcher job.

*on the subject of thinking about if you really want to work for/with chef/pastry chef/restaurant/company you're about to interview with, you may want to think about your trajectory. you may want to ask for feedback about your resume– about the path your on, from a chef who's been cooking twice or three times as long as you have.

the reasons for this are too many to describe here, but your career is a series of steps you take to reach a goal. or goals.

I've seen a lot of resumes (at least 6 dozen) in the past few weeks, and some resumes are so haphazard I just want to ask, "Why?" I realize that the economy only worsens matters what with lay-offs and restaurants closing left and right. but think about your path. because you should have one.

I didn't "have a path" initially, but I was given some great advice at the very beginning, 

and I listened to it.

and I'm glad I did, because, even without a culinary school degree I've seen and cooked and baked inside of most of my favorite restaurants and for/with amazingly talented chefs & pastry chefs.

I am always honest in my interviews. but I don't disparage any chefs/restaurants I've worked for before. I give notice professionally and finish as strong as chefs/owners will allow me the opportunity. I do my math/salary/chef/owner/company homework and when I show up for interviews I secretly "interview" all the staff I come into contact with. I sit at the bar and ask the bartenders how long they've worked there. I talk to waiters and ask if the restaurant is busy. I have questions ready for the owners/chef and I present my strengths and weaknesses honestly. I know myself and I only apply for jobs I want, and want to dedicate myself to, and want to stay at.

because we don't just sit down and talk-interview for professional cooking jobs.
because we also "trail" for said positions.
it's utterly important that you do not bullshit or lie on your resume or in your interview.
chefs, like cops and lawyers and the mob, have channels.
we talk.
we kibbutz.
quietly.
we cohort,
and we 'ask around' after a person.
YOU can do the same thing.
find out about the not-so-public persona of the chef/pastry chef/restaurant/company you're about to interview with.
go to the restaurant under cover and even if you can't afford to eat there, watch the dining room at 8 pm on a Saturday night.

because we "trail" or 'present a tasting' before we get the job, it's important that you don't bullshit during the interview. because kitchens are X-Rays. especially we the insane pastry chefs. we will see through you.

if we're paying attention.

and if we're not paying attention to the fact that you know nothing and were too lazy to do your homework and did nothing besides hit send on a machine to get a job

then you shouldn't be working for that chef anyhow.

because you don't have time to waste.
because you have an education you need to grab by the cojones, that you then need to learn how to butcher properly.

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2. You Still Need to Know How to Cook
3. You Still Need to Know How to Cook